Welcome!….now what?

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Soooooo, this is my blog.

Now what?

Hmmm….

Ooh, how about I tell you about myself! Because that’s what you’re meant to do on a blog anyway. Tell people shit. 

Okay, here goes.

Welcome to the Adventures of Cat Madigan! Or perhaps a possible alternate title, Stuck in Two Worlds.

Because that’s probably the best way to describe my state of mind at the moment.

That’s also why I’m here. Well, one of the reasons.

Basically, at the moment, I have problems with recurring hallucinations. It’s been going on for more than a year now and it’s been increasingly hard to cope with them, along with the current world I’m living in. 

For the purposes of this blog, which may or may not be abandoned after two weeks of writing to a bunch of nonexistent fans, I’ll refer to this world, the world where my friends live, along with the strange people I call my family, as Reality. Reality is full of stuff like school, and modelling, and racewalking, (let the duck walk jokes begin….oh wait, I need fans first, that’s right,) as well as all the things an ordinary person would experience in everyday life. Reality. Is that too boring a name? Too bad, nonexistent fan.

But there’s also this other world; a magical place full of wonder….not. In actual fact, it scares the living shit out of me. People and places that don’t exist, things appearing that don’t make sense. It’s not all pretty lights and voices; at times I genuinely believe that I’m being attacked. Sometimes I feel like I’m being burnt alive, dying by degrees. So now that my nonexistent fan base has an idea of how insane I am, let me introduce this place inside my head, the land known as Delirium. Yeah….for someone who has vivid hallucinations, you’d think I’d be able to come up with better names for my worlds than Reality and Delirium. Oh well. Next body, I’ll have a more creative brain.

So why am I writing this stuff now? Well like I said before, I’m going mad. My brain is working overtime and I’m struggling to make it through everyday. Have I made a suicide attempt? Yes, just one. Drowning. Do not recommend it. Or suicide attempts in general, as a matter of fact. But anyway, I need something to record my thoughts and feelings, everything in Reality and Delirium. But writing a diary is far too boring. Plus I don’t get to show off my rad writing skills, (yet another thing that doesn’t exist.) Another reason for doing this is that I enjoy drawing things. Things that I could potentially show to people and say “Look at my picture, and tell me how pretty it is!” So I can post shit on here too, for strangers and my imaginary fans all to see! 

Ok…what else….

Oh, and no, my name is not Cat Madigan. And the names of everyone I may mention in the future have been changed to protect their true identities, (which may or may not include Batman.)

So non existent people of the Internet who read this, what’s in store for you? Like I said, everything from the worlds of Reality and Delirium, as well as rants or ideas I may have. And drawings, ooh, I love drawings! <3

And before I wrap this up, if you do exist imaginary fan, let me know. It would be nice to know that some random on the Internet is reading my stuff. :)

Ok, I’m done for now. :) l8rzzzz <3333

^dafuq was that???

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7 thoughts on “Welcome!….now what?

  1. A friend: Your "brother" in fact ;)

    Awwh, I’m glad to see you’re getting some help. I love you big sis, and I’m always here :)

  2. Green with Envy

    I too live in a world of delerium and reality, it’s hard for me to seperate my two worlds and sometimes they merge into one. Is this what will happen in the end? My life will be a combination of Reality and Delerium ? Or will I lose one completely, and if so, which one ?

    • Sometimes I feel like it would be so much simpler if one of them would just go away, but then I wonder what would happen to that world? What if the one that was actually real disappeared, what would happen to the people there? And what would happen to me? Would I just become an empty shell, trapped inside my head?
      Sometimes it’s too scary to think about.

  3. Imaginary Friend

    I’ve been told there are good and bad parts in each world. Reality isnt all that it’s cracked up to be, sometimes Reality is the last place you want t be. I have also been told that we can choose the world we live in, with the help of others. How do we take the good parts of each persona and mould them into one well rounded individual ?Other people can manage to do that, why is it that I am unable to? Is delerium my safe harbour when reality gets too much? Who knows, it is something I would like to explore.

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