No, this post is not about how much I hate myself again. Please don’t go, non existent readers, I have few of you as it is. Besides, there is a modelling event for me to rant about.
If you had read one of my prior posts, I was doing a fitting for a parade (and playing The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Game). And said parade was two weeks ago. This post was written then, but as I had no Internet, I couldn’t post it. So let’s just pretended that this is me at the parade right now, shall we?
Right now, I am impatiently waiting for my order of spring rolls, ignoring the strange looks I’m getting. To be honest, if I saw someone with freakish supermodel makeup, I might stare too. Or maybe after this, I’d be used to the sight of freakish supermodel makeup, and I wouldn’t give that woman/man a second glance.
So when I arrived, I was promptly sent to the hair department. I’ve noticed a pattern among hair stylists; first, they rave on about how lovely my hair is. And then they promptly start to straighten it.
I have no problem with people straightening my hair actually. It’s far easier than having to straighten it myself- not that I ever straighten my hair; I can do better things in that time, such as watch an episode of Doctor Who, start a new art project, design a brutal murder on paper, write up another post for The Adventures Of Cat Madigan, or maybe even go for a run (LOL, no I don’t run). But what I find somewhat irritating is that while they were straightening my curly mop, girls with straight hair were getting their hair done similar to mine. It just seems so unnecessary, why would you do that if you already had a model with that hair? Gah….modelling logic. -__-
So then I got sent to makeup. They had two looks for the models; the smokey eye, which was borderline panda-eyes, or the ‘natural’ look, which I received. There is but one word I can use to describe this look. EYEBROWS. (Scratch that, I’ll add a few more.) MASSIVE. CATERPILLAR. EYEBROWS! Aaaaaargh!
Just, why. WHY is dinosaur sized eyebrows considered attractive? I mean, don’t get me wrong, some people look good that way. But that’s just it; some people look good. Others look like freaks of nature. One example: Cat Madigan. Cat Madigan just looks scary with gigantasaurus eyebrows. And yet they do it. Because it’s a trend, and trends are gospel. Or they wanted the beauty of the clothes to be the focus, rather than the beauty of the model.
Spring rolls are here. I shall update you later on the events of the show.
I’m exhausted. And hungry.
Spring rolls had far too much pepper; nearly sweated off my ugly makeup. By the time I had finished them, I was nearly late.
Before, I ranted about how weird the makeup and hair people were. Now I think everyone involved in the designs were on drugs. Or they had to design for Lady Gaga and there was no going back from there. How one was meant to wear said clothes, I have no idea. I managed to somehow, but it was more difficult than it should’ve been to put on clothing.
Most of my time back stage was spent with a guy who for today (or at least I think it was only today, but for all I know he might do this all the time) was going to be a female model. I was sitting next to him in makeup as they were putting on his wig, and he and I were chatting away, talking about how weird the makeup was and the outfits we’d be wearing. Why do I always choose to hang around the weird people? imaginary readers might ask. Simple answer: normal people are boring. Plus they made me wear horrible makeup.
After sitting backstage in the massive faux suede overcoat I was going to display first, the show finally started. I was only displaying garments, so I got to watch the jewellery people go on first. One girl I knew was wearing a necklace made out of barbie doll heads. Another was modelling a cage like piece that covered her neck and half her face.
WHY Lady Gaga wasn’t at the show, looking at these pieces for inspiration, I have no idea. But if you’re reading this Lady Gaga, (you might be lost or something, I dunno) you should go next year! I’m sure you’ll love the designs.
My outfits were mostly normal though, or at least the ones I knew I was going to model were. Out of these, the first outfit was probably the one with the most strangeness: a white short dress with a grey cardigan and a giant suede overcoat which reached the floor. I actually liked the coat, I might even wear it…at home, when it’s cold and I can’t be stuffed getting a blanket.
Then I just wore a peach coloured dress, followed by a dark green coat with a long black dress. Then I found out that because one of the models canceled, I was wearing a fourth outfit.
It looked pretty at the time. It was silver and purple and long. Then I had to figure out how to put it on.
It took me two minutes to realise there was only one armhole. Then I had to figure out if it was an armhole, or if it was in fact for my head to go through. Fortunately, the designer who made this trippy thing turned up. It was meant to be an coat apparently. Which would be great, if you happened to be missing your left arm and you wanted it covered up.
Overall, the show was incredibly weird, but it all went smoothly, and it was pretty fun. It was also the first proper parade I had done; I used to belong to another agency specialising in younger models, and we often did parades at markets and stuff. But never stuff from designers before. Yes, there was a lot of freaky stuff there, but sometimes, freaky is good. Freaky can be fun, I grant Lady Gaga that. But I’d never go so far to wear a meat dress. No. Nonononononono.
I’m enjoying modelling at the moment; I’m feeling a lot more confident in myself from it, and it makes me pay more attention to how I look. Yes, I know that’s not always a good thing; look at today’s society, as if we could get any vainer! But it gives me motivation to pay attention to myself, because with my head, I’d probably have no motivation whatsoever to look pretty or at least decent if I didn’t have modelling. And appearances are important. Who wants to help someone who looks like a homeless person? That’s the sad truth. :(
Question of the Day: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had to wear? You might not do modelling, but everyone has worn something that has gained strange looks from people. Or it could just be something that you yourself thought was weird. I once had to wear a wedding dress and all I could think was that it weighed at least two tonnes and I was going to fall off the stage or fall through the stage. Neither of which I did, thank god. Hopefully it’s not my last time wearing a wedding dress. *sniff*, forever alone Cat…
So leave your imaginary comments below, and I shall see you later. It is now time for school, where I have a science assignment which I have not yet done, and a maths test which I have not yet studied for. Craaaaaaaap.