Slut Dress

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Yesterday, I would’ve never have done what I did today.

I purchased…a slut dress.

Or at least the sluttiest dress I am likely ever to wear on my own volition.

“BOOBS!”

“No Daniel, it does not expose my chest.”

“But I feel like seeing boobs.”

“Argh…what do you think the internet is for?”

“But there is none…”

“Well, use your imagination then!”

Now, back to slut dress. I do not usually buy slut dresses, because whenever I see girls wearing slut dresses, all I can think is how unattractive it makes them look. That and ‘Was that a nip slip? Yeah…that’s a nip slip, stop staring Daniel! No, that does not mean stare at her ass ch- oh my god, her ass cheeks are hanging out, is she drunk?’

“The answer to that was yes, by the way.”

“Yeah…you still wanted to tap her though. By the way, I need your help with something here.”

“Really now? Whatever for?”

“You’re my slutomitor.”

“I see. What does that entail?”

“Boobs.”

“I’m in. Okay, throw them at me!”

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“…These are dresses. I was promised boobs. Where are my boobs?”

“These are close enough. You’re a man, and as a man, what would you think of this dress?”

“…”

“Let me guess, boobs?”

“Yuhhuh. And for the record,” he adds as I roll my eyes, “If it weren’t for the midriff, I would go for that.”

“What’s wrong with the midriff?”

“Look Cat, when it comes to exposing flesh, less is better than more, always.”

“What do you mean?”

“Okay…” Daniel inhales. “Say there’s two girls coming onto me in a bar. One is wearing that polka dot dress you have in your closet. It’s not that tight, and it doesn’t really show off your chest, but you look nice in it. Especially your legs.”

“Wait, I’m in this fantasy?”

“While the other,” Daniel disregards my look of horror, “Has a tight red dress on that’s so high you can see what colour underwear she’s wearing. None, by the way,” he informs me. “On top, she has these massive-“

“I get the idea Daniel! She looks like the girl at my school fundraiser on Friday!”

“Yup. Buttcheeks girl,” he grins. “When the two of your are side by side, men would probably go for you.”

“…Daniel, I’m sixteen, I’m not even legal yet.”

“Do you object to the idea of men hitting on you?”

“…”

“Then it’s settled. The point I’m trying to make,” he tells me, “is that Buttcheeks is trying too hard. She desperately wants male attention, even going without panties, and that is a big turnoff. Men don’t want something that’s ready to bend over as soon as we say hi. That’s what whores are for.”

“I wonder if Buttcheeks got laid…”

“Most likely not. I saw how everyone was looking at her. Cat, think of it this way. If you saw a man wearing tiny pants and no shirt at a place that wasn’t the beach, would you go for him?”

“No. I don’t have a thing for stoners.”

“Good girl. And vice versa; if a girl wears something exposing her breasts and her ass in a place where we don’t expect to see breasts and ass, the men she’s seeking to impress aren’t going to be impressed. The men who are impressed will probably root her in an alleyway.”

“Okay…so bare flesh is unattractive.”

“No, bare flesh in public is unattractive,” he corrects me. “The key, my dear, is making flesh attractive under the confines of clothes. You know how to do this.”

I nod. “Thankyou Trinny and Susannah. So, let’s see if I understand this.”

“Proceed, Lady Madigan.”

“Bare flesh can be attractive. But not in giant doses.”

“And not in places where bare flesh isn’t wanted.”

“So, I can go to a bar wearing something showing off my legs, providing my ass and boobs are inside?”

He nods. “Legs are hot. So are backs. Backs are the new racks.”

“That should be a phrase. So the ideal slut dress is one that shows off a tiny bit of flesh, and hints at the rest?”

“Bingo. Peak their interest, and make them want more. Well done Cat Madigan.”

I wrinkle my face. “Thanks for the valuable life lesson. How to make a man in a bar or at a party want to go after you. Most useful.”

“So what does this slut dress look like?”

“Shows off legs and back.”

“Naked back?”

“Uhhuh.”

“Tight dress”

“I guess.”

“Skirtline?”

“Cheeky.”

He kisses my forehead. “Good girl.”

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