Cat Madigan’s Journey Around Planet Earth

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So this was written nearly a week ago. Wow. Anyway, I can now post this after purchasing an hour’s Internet for €16.95. Yeah…it’s expensive.

We’re on the cruise ship right now, heading for Dubrovnik. We’ve been to Greece and Turkey already, and it’s been pretty great, except for a couple of stuffs. Mainly to do with mean humans and my messed up emotions. But hey, what can you do?

So here’s my recount of the first part of this trip. Which I haven’t been stuffed editing because I’m on a cruise ship and I have mock-tails to drink.

Also, my hair is orange. And straight. Just letting ya know.
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If you’re reading this, it means that a rare wifi hotspot has been discovered in this godforsaken airport. It also means that about thirty teenage girls are furiously tweeting, facebooking and snap chatting as we speak.

By the way, I do not understand Snap Chat, nor do I wish to. The majority of girls on this trip are using it, and I do not see its appeal. And I can only begin to imagine how many photos of body parts would be sent to me. If I wanted to see a pair of boobs, I’d take my top off and look in the mirror. As for genitalia…seriously. In no way is that area of the human anatomy attractive. Stop taking photos of it, stupid humans! ARGGGHHHHH.

Okay, rant over. Forgive me, I had to awake at four in the morning and I’ve had only a cappuccino. Also, coffee. Gross. I don’t care if it’s an acquired taste, the fact is that you have to drink it again and again to acquire that taste.

Moooooving on.

We’re about to leave Rome today, to go to Venice, where I shall get onto a boat with my group and sail around the world. Or at least just Greece, Turkey and Croatia. But that’s still pretty cool. I just wish I had my friends with me, instead of these uncultured swine who apparently have never heard of clothes.

Okaaaay, not all of them are so bad. There’s a few nice girls, but on the other hand, there’s a lot of bitchy girls.

So let me tell you what has happened thus far.

Malta

One of the coolest places I’ve ever seen. Modern, but it still stays true to their traditions and religion. More English than I would’ve expected them to be, though they still speak Italian and Maltese. It was still very hot though, and I quickly acquired a dreaded tan line where I wore my watch.

The churches were beautiful, though no one but the teachers and I really cared. Shopping was where the real fun began; the girls split off into different groups and I, at least for the first couple of days, was left with my father. Daniel didn’t show up until nearly three days in, busy with some secret that he somehow managed to keep from me. I eventually found a circle that I hung around with, which I will now describe.

Payne

I knew beforehand that I would have too endure Payne’s presence on this tour, but I had no idea of how much worse she was outside school. She quickly proved herself to be a snob as well as stuck up, and it was thanks to her that I ended up having a breakdown Day Three of Malta.

During a shopping expedition near our hotel, I was getting ready to leave after changing out of an outfit. When I was about to leave, Payne said “Cat, you weren’t wearing that top when we got in here!”

I was immediately confused. I was certain that this was my top…but then I couldn’t be entirely sure, could I? I could never be sure that what I saw in Reality was true. I knew though that I wouldn’t do something like that on purpose, but explaining that to someone like Payne would be hell.

Payne wouldn’t stop. If she did, I would have been fine, but she kept going on about how that wasn’t my shirt, even though I kept insisting that I was wearing it when we entered the store.

So I melted.

When the other girls, who had gone out of the store to wait for us, came back in, they saw me shaking with tears streaming down my face, and they quickly confirmed that I had been wearing that shirt when I entered the store. After that, I quickly calmed down, my sense of Reality, at least for that moment, secure.

It also reinforced the fact that Payne was a fucking bitch. Still is.

Rome

A lot cooler than Malta, much to my relief. Quickly discovered that despite everything, I am the most gullible person in the world, after giving spare change to a gypsy child and her mother when we went to St Peter’s Basilica. Another reason why I don’t like my group. They don’t hesitate to make fun of you, even if they don’t know you well enough to do so. I spent the rest of the trip to the basilica talking to Daniel, who tried to make me feel better by getting me to talk about the stories of Michelangelo.

My favourite one involves the painting of the apocalypse; there was a critic of Michelangelo who hated him, so in the bottom of the painting, with the demons and damned people, Michelangelo ended up painting that critic, with a snake biting off a certain part of his anatomy. I enjoyed that one, so I cheered up fairly quickly, no thanks to my group.

Raspberry and Chocolate Gelato

The most beautiful thing in existence. Roma ice cream is the most delicious ice cream I have ever tasted, and even now I’m going through withdrawal symptoms.

Of course, it’s probably got an infinite amount of sugar, but the number of fucks I give is equivalent to the amount of money I have left after buying it. Aka, zilch.

Well, that’s not true. I’ve spent all my money I planned to spend in Rome. I still have money for Greece, Turkey and Croatia, which should be fun.

So those are my adventures. How have you nonexistent readers been?

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