Beasts Inside

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“Shit!” The monster that stabbed me got a ball of heat to the face, causing them to scream out. “Get him out of here!” I yelled to Daniel. My sight blurred and I knew I had only seconds more to live. So I let go of my body once again.

The monsters crowded around me, stabbing my mangled body repeatedly, taking no notice of the shadow. I shrieked at them, grabbing them and flinging them at eachother so they’d all go flying towards the wall. “Run, you idiot!” I told Daniel, my voice more animalistic than human.

He hesitated before pulling Papa Willis with him as he ran. “What about her?” Willis protested.

“I’ll be fine!” I yelled, hurling away the monsters that attempted to follow. “Get both your asses out!” I ordered Daniel. He nodded, and pulled Willis away, till both were out of my sight.

I looked back at the monsters coming towards me. “We’re doing nothing!” I heard one yell. “We were lied to! This isn’t a human!”

It was easy to kill them all, too simple to break them in my hand. But then I realised that no more came. We were still on the run, and yet, I heard no more approaching my way.

Oh no…I was such a fool. How many were up the other end, hunting Daniel and Willis?

I didn’t know what to do with my body though. I couldn’t leave it there…but touching it would trap me inside, and I was still dead. Or at any rate, dying. I wasn’t entirely sure. What use could I like that? But they would no doubt take it the minute I abandoned it to go after the two men running for their lives.

So I chose the option I valued more. I flew down the halls, desperately trying to sense them. I couldn’t see or hear any other presence following or approaching me, the two of them were far ahead of me. It was only because I recognised Willis’ scent that I was able to follow it, and soon, I could not only smell him, but Daniel as well. I wasn’t far…but this didn’t reassure me.

Then I heard a scream that could only be human. That’s when I decided to charge, smashing through several walls in the process in an almost cartoon-like manner. I had less than a second to take in the scene; Willis was lying in a pool of blood, and Daniel was barely keeping the freaks-with mouths stretched out like a crocodile’s- off him, frantically striking against two swords. He caught sight of me and his eyes widened. When a monster swiped at him, and he barely missed the edge of the sword, I flew at him and crushed him against a wall. “You don’t-” I punched him in the nose, “Touch-” I grabbed his neck, my claws wrapping around his throat, “Daniel!” With that, I jerked it to the right and let him fall to the ground.

At the same moment, Daniel’s sword was entering the neck of the other one, black blood spraying everywhere. “That was close,” I said softly, as the monster crumpled below.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Willis,” I reminded him.

Immediately he flashed around to my friend. Willis’ eyes were closed and he was barely moving. “I’ll be fine here,” Daniel told me. “Get your body back, now.”

“I’m probably dead…”

“Just go.” Something in his voice told me that I had to go now. So I went along the trail of rubble, when the whole mess hit me at last. It was far from a good time, but nothing stopped me as I crumpled to the ground in a quivering heap. I don’t know how long I was there, shaking, but when I finally looked up, someone was standing above me.

My face was smooth and emotionless. My eyes revealed nothing as they gazed down upon my shadow. Then my lips turned up into a sinister smile, as my hand was lifted to be inspected by my cool, silent stare. After a moment, Cat Madigan walked away, towards the pathway that my shadow had created.

I grabbed her by the arm. In that moment, it felt insanely hot, as if she were made of metal than flesh. But I didn’t re-enter my body. “Who are you?” I demanded.

She looked at me. “I’m Cat Madigan,” she said. But her voice was like a toddler’s, giving her away completely.

I twisted her arm and slammed her to the ground. “Don’t give me that,” I growled. “Get out of my body now.”

She smiled again. “Make me,” she said in that toddler voice, as the five letters lit up. There was no way I was backing down.

I had no time to think as a ball of fire surged towards my face. I nearly flipped backwards to dodge it, and I swiped her leg, causing her to fall to the ground. But she wasn’t fazed. Giving another maniacal laugh, she suddenly launched into the air, hovering above me.

Okay, that’s new. “I know you’re not me,” I snarled. “So why don’t you just tell me what you’re trying here?”

Another smile. “Does it really matter?” she asked, still floating in the air. “Well…you’ll be dead soon anyway, I suppose.”

At that I laughed, and when I saw her flinch, I felt even more pleased with myself. “You can try,” I told her. “God knows I have. Now…your name?”

“Axyl,” she said. “Sigma former. Helevia.”

“Don’t give me your backstory,” I told Axyl. “Even if you were from Helevia, that’s not the side you were on when it fell.” She shrugged. “Anyway….” I jumped into the air below her and aimed my foot upwards.

My kick launched her down the hall, where she was knocked into the wall ten metres from her. “Always wanted to do that,” I murmured to myself.

Axyl looked up with another eerie smile. “You can’t get me out,” she informed me. “This is my body now.”

“Cat!”

Both the imposter and I flashed around to see Daniel. Immediately, Axyl flew to Daniel. “Don’t you frigging dare!” I screamed at her, grabbing her burning arms.

“Daniel, help me!” she called out.

Daniel froze. “Daniel, I need you!” I shouted. “I can’t get back in, she’s taken over!” Still he didn’t move. “Didn’t you hear me? She’s taken over my body, I have to get her out!”

“I can’t…” he said weakly.

What? “Why…” I asked, feeling uneasy.

Suddenly, Axyl leapt out of my grasp and leapt towards Daniel. “No!” I yelled.

She threw her arms around Daniel and sobbed. Daniel just stood there as she shook with tears. “I’m scared,” she whimpered. “Please…I want to go…”

“It’s alright,” he told her reassuringly. “We can leave now, I promise, Cat.” He met my gaze; there was no hate in his face, nor fear or disgust. Instead, there was an urgency reflected in his eye that made me realise what he was doing. I nodded once, and waited for his signal.

“Where did you get this?” he asked Axyl, gently removing the wand from her jacket-my jacket.

“I…” She only paused for half a second. “It was in one of the cells,” she continued confidently. “One of the freaks must’ve left it there by mistake.”

Heheh, gotcha.

“I thought you said you took it from a corpse,” he said to her.

For a moment she went pale. “It was. You’re right. There was a body there, a prisoner I think. Maybe the guards dropped it and they picked it-” She stopped talking a split second before Daniel raised the wand and sent her flying backwards.

I grabbed her before she could hit the wall, and closed my eyes, forcing my way into her head. Get out, I snarled.

She merely screamed. Fine then. Using all that remained of my strength, I struggled to regain control of my limbs, until finally, the force pushing against me suddenly disappeared, and I took the opportunity to enter completely.

The pain of the injuries my body had obtained made me cry out when I came to my senses. “It’s alright,” Daniel told me. “Only me.” He lifted me up and he began walking back through the debris.

I could finally speak. “That…was frightening,” I croaked.

He looked down at me, smiling crookedly. “That’s what tipped me off,” he informed me. “If you were the enemy, why would she stop fighting you, just because I was there?”

“Yeah…after that, she called the monsters freaks. That was stupid too…”

“I already figured it out though,” Daniel pointed out.

“Still. What if you hadn’t?”

“I suppose.”

We were getting closer to the room now. “It wasn’t a corpse,” I said aloud. “Or in a cell. I found it in a lab. That’s how I caused the explosion.” Then Papa Willis came into view. “Is he okay?” Then I noticed Noah.

“He will be,” he answered. “Lucky for him, Daniel knows how to make a tourniquet.”

“Why would he need a…” Then I saw Willis. His right arm was in tatters, and a piece of cloth was wound tightly around where the elbow should’ve been. “Holy….”

“Indeed…”

“Willis tried to hit them out of the way,” Daniel told me wearily. “One of those crocodile things was going to bite my head off. If Willis hadn’t blocked it, I would’ve lost my neck. But he lost his arm…”

“He’ll be okay though?”

“Yes,” Noah said. “Come along you two, we need to leave.”

____________________________________________________________

There’s no Delirium or Reality, both of the worlds in my head are real; though no one but I would consider this the case.
I killed too many in the end. I can’t make myself forget everything I’ve done. It’s better to stop now. I want to die before I end up destroying both of my worlds, because I know that will happen.
The room’s all fuzzy now. In a moment, I’ll stop breathing, and from there….I don’t know. Kaya didn’t die, god knows what’ll happen to me.
It didn’t matter in the end, what was real or not. Delirium taught me as much as Reality. Reality was just as painful as Delirium. No matter what anyone says, my actions did matter. And for that, I’m sorry.
May we meet again.

.

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Letters On My Arm

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“Cat!”

I leap out of my head. “How long?” I pant.

Daniel shakes his head. “I’m not sure, I only just-”

“Where are they?” I look around, and I speak quickly. “I had a knife, they were coming at me, I, I think I got one…”

Daniel’s gone quiet. “Where is he?”

I point across from us. There’s a big heap of black on the ground, almost like slime. The knife is lying on top of it, black and red on it both. I can remember now; after I ran him through with the blade, the others got behind me. The knife was in him, I was too slow to take it out in time.

“What do you remember from Delirium?” Daniel asks.

I shake my head. “It’s a blur,” I say. “Which means nothing happened.”

“Nothing happened in Delirium,” Daniel says slowly. “But in Reality…” He shows me my bedroom. It’s a mess as usual, but if you look closely, you can see things. Things that were on my bed are now spilled over the floor. Shoes are in random places, no two matching shoes are together.

I open the window, and the mass of black is sucked out. Daniel and I watch it float away, into the world of Reality. After a while, he speaks to me. “Your hand…”

I look at them, and I see it; the red smudge on it, originating from one thin line across my finger. “How did-”

Then I remember again. A knife, no a sword, slashes at me, cutting my hand as I hold it out, as feeble protection. “How did it only get one finger?” I whisper. It’s one singular cut, two centimetres long at most. “Are they gone Daniel?”

He nods. He’s unusually silent, and I’m beginning to panic and wonder what on earth he’s thinking when I see the red marks on my arm.

F R E A K.

“No…”

“Cat…” Daniel warns.

“No!” I crumple. “I didn’t…I didn’t…”

“Listen Cat listen-”

“I promised!” I’m in tears. “I can’t…”

“Cat, they’re not cuts!”

“What?”

He holds my arm in front of me, and I flinch away. “Look Cat,” he whispers.

Reluctantly, I turn my head back. The letters are angry red, but they aren’t dripping. “Scratches, not cuts,” he says soothingly. “It’s not that bad.”

I give him a look. “I know,” he says, “it’s bad, but scratches fade, scratches don’t leave scars. You didn’t self harm.”

“Didn’t I?”

“Scratches don’t count.”

“What about beating yourself with a bar?” I retort. “That doesn’t scar either.”

His eyes are full of sorrow. They’re grey today, because my room is blue. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “You need rest.”

I lie down, and he sits next to me. “You could be doing this,” I say quietly. “You could’ve sent those things on me, and I wouldn’t know.”

He takes off his jacket and shows me his own arm. A gash is on his left index finger, bleeding softly. And lower, F R E A and K are on his arm as bright as blood.

“How many scars of mine do you have?” I whisper.

He shows me his leg, with lines running down it. He shows me the lash marks on my arms, from long ago. “There’s even older ones,” he tells me. “D’you want to go there?”

I shake my head. Mummy, I’m bleeding! Mummy, I’m bleeding! “Stop.”

The Truth about HER

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I’ve mentioned her once on this thing, vaguely.

I knew I would have to mention her eventually. It’s just that I had always thought it wouldn’t have to be until later. A LOT later.

Say…maybe on my deathbed.

Alright then…

I’ve talked about Daniel a lot. He was the first Delusion which I sort of trusted. And now, he’s almost the equivalent of a guardian angel, in a way. He protects me from my own mind.

The thing is, he wasn’t always my guardian angel.

The one who was, I met a while after I met Daniel, but I had known her before that. She was more monster than angel though. She was a freak of nature, just like me.

She was once ordinary, she lived in the world of Delirium, I’ve seen her as a child. Then she was taken, I saw that happen too. It was worse than anything I had ever seen at that time.

I’ve seen her life. I watched how people ripped into her, poisoned her. She was changed after that, completely. Her eyes were a bright, violent purple, and her hair had gone silver. And she couldn’t cry, because her tears scorched her skin, and left burns.

She managed to stand it somehow though. I watch this happen, even feel it happen, and I’m slowly losing it. It hurts, and I don’t know how the hell she stood it. She stood it long enough to escape; when they were finally going to put her out of her misery, she decided to defy them.

She ran. Or rather, flew. And she had taken Daniel with her.

And then I met her myself.

Kaya was the one who stopped them from killing me, the ones who would choke me during the night. She couldn’t feel anything anymore, so she took the bullet, sometimes literally. She never died, whatever they did to her, it made her just about indestructible.

She wasn’t always there though. I saw her in my Delirium, enduring everything that came her way. She rarely cried, because the scars on her face attracted even more attention. It was difficult though. When we saw her friend die, her face was on fire once again. Towards the end, I always saw her with tears streaming down her face. Kaya no longer cared about scars.

Around the time she died, she had been helping me cope with the things I saw. I told Kaya how I could see her in Delirium, and how I had unwanted visitors come to me at night, when she couldn’t be there. She wouldn’t tell me who they were though, or what my Delirium was. She and Daniel were strict on that, Daniel still is. But she made up for it. Kaya was teaching me to protect my mind from them, and for practise, she made Daniel attack me.

I hated him for it. I was horrible at it, and I always ended up in tears. Daniel, for a lack of a better term, was pissed at me. He kept calling me a baby, and I probably was. When Kaya was around, he held his tongue though. Kaya later told me when he wasn’t there that his philosophy was that only pain can make you stronger, and truth be told, it was hers too. I understood, but it didn’t mean I liked it.

The only time I saw Daniel cry was when Kaya died. And I, the baby, was the only one there to help him after it happened.

Neither of us know truly how it happened. But I’ve seen it happen over and over in my head, it makes no sense why I don’t know what happened. Daniel has one theory. When someone goes through all that pain, it has to go somewhere, so what happens when expressing it leaves burns on your face? It would build up.

Kaya would have all that pain inside her, and no way to express it.

But I disagree. There are more ways to express pain than crying. Anger is one example. And physical pain becomes durable over time. Burning her face as many times as she did, she wouldn’t be able to feel anything anymore. She’d express pain without enduring it again. When you think of it that way, Daniel’s theory makes no sense.

Kaya is the reason I choose to endure this…whatever this is. I want to stay alive, no matter the cost. Daniel no longer calls me a baby; he’s my protector, like she was. He even appears to care for me. I don’t know why he does it, but I’m glad he does. I wouldn’t be able to deal with this without him, just like I couldn’t live without Kaya.

Neither of us know what happened, but we will someday. I trust of her that much.

Cat’s Run Away, Part Four: Save Me

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His name was Tarrant, and the next day, he was heading to Indonesia for a trip. He was already late for his own going away party, as he had to pay a fine, but for some reason I couldn’t comprehend, he offered to drive me to the Underground.

“How blistered are your feet?” he asked.

I hadn’t had a look at my feet in a while, and now that I was sitting in his car, I could do so. Tarrant’s face screwed up at the sight. “How long were you walking barefoot again?” he winced.

To be honest, I didn’t think they looked too bad. Like, they weren’t mutilated and disgusting, merely filthy and tough from walking on rocky pavement for hours. The skin was almost black on my feet, but water would get that off.

Tarrant dropped something on my lap. “Buy some shoes, I’m begging you,” he said. “Before your feet are permanently ruined.”

“My feet were never lovely in the first place,” I told him. “Besides, the shops would be closed now, I wouldn’t be able to buy anything.”

“Well take it for my state of mind, alright?” said Tarrant. “Think of it this way; I would be relieved by the thought that you are at least wearing shoes on your way there, so take the money, and let me have that illusion.”

I hesitated, before finally accepting the money. “You see? I feel better already,” Tarrant said. “I can live with myself knowing I helped you.”

“I had never thought I’d see the day that someone would beg me to buy shoes,” I told him. “Normally it’s the other way around.”

He grinned. “Buy ugg boots,” he said.

I made a face. “Again, never thought I’d hear someone say that.”

Tarrant chuckled. “When you think about it, my actions are selfish, because I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t feel bad about not helping you, see. So its selfish of me that I’m helping you.”

“Well nothing is truly altruistic,” I pointed out. “Human beings are selfish by nature.”

“Silly human beings…” he rolled his eyes.

I giggled at that. “That’s usually what I say.”

“We think alike,” Tarrant said. “…that may not be a good thing.”

I rolled my eyes. Tarrant was nice, for a stranger. He was weird, and he thought about random things. He was practically my twin. :p

Tarrant left me at the Underground, after giving me his Facebook details so I could let him know that I was alive. I bought my ticket and got on the train, and I would’ve fallen asleep had Daniel not been there.

I managed to scramble off the train, with all my belongings in hand, and Daniel following me.

Oh, and I forgot to do a recount of thus far. Still barefoot, still homeless, still carrying iPad and books, still have five bucks, plus an additional forty from Tarrant.

“Why on Earth would he give you that much money?” Daniel asked. “Are you sure those notes aren’t laced with something?”

I was too busy braving the rocky ground to answer. “Ow, ow, ow, ow.”

“Never mind…” Daniel turned to me. “Where are we meant to go?”

Now, upon being told how I needed to catch the Chesire Train, the whole police station gasped. The Cheshire station, I was informed, was an incredibly seedy place. Not fun seedy, like my Uncle Slenderman, but bad seedy, as in Creepy Stalker Guy Seedy.

So my thoughts were wonderful after hearing this.

We walked for ten minutes, and Daniel and I were walking along the highway, looking for directions.

Then someone grabbed my shoulder.

I cried out and span around to see someone I knew very well.

He was a Delusion.

He was not Daniel.

And I hated him.

“What do you want?” I snarled.

Then I crumpled to the ground, hissing. My head was burning, and I was vaguely aware of him standing above me.

“Don’t you dare!” I heard Daniel screech. Suddenly, the pain vanished, and I was lying on the ground, disoriented.

When my sight came to, I took in the scene in front of me. Daniel was standing there, panting and in agony. “What happened?” I asked.

He grimaced. “It’s fine,” he murmured. “Perfectly fine.”

And then he fell to the ground.