Sinner

Standard

So today’s plans were simple. Clean the house, get ready for school tomorrow, the usual.

Then I got messaged.

A model had cancelled for a photoshoot, and they wanted to know if I was available.

So after asking Mum if she could drive me, Daniel, Kaya and I were off.

Before I go on, it might help to mention that Kaya has, for a lack of a better term, grounded me. Yeah… I did sort of deserve it, but it doesn’t mean I have to like being ‘grounded’.

For a lack of a better term, Kaya is there in the back of my mind in case I do something stupid. So I am never alone with my thoughts.

Oh be quiet. Since when is punishment meant to be enjoyable? Stupid girl.

Anyway, the theme was Seven Deadly Sins, and I got my very favourite one.

“Lust?” Daniel asks.

“Since when have I done anything impure?”

“You’re right. Physically, you are completely innocent,” he winks.

“Shut up Daniel. I’m Sloth.”

“Sloth?”

“Laziness.”

“Ohhhh. Yes, you’re right, that sin is definitely fitting of you.”

“Thankyou.” I was beaming.

“Now which sin am I going to be?” Daniel smoothed his hair in the mirror.

“You’re not in this shoot Daniel,” I rolled my eyes. “But you can be Vanity. Kaya’s Wrath.”

I beg your- Oh, you’re right.

“Indeed.” I look at Daniel. “Have you spoken to Kaya yet?”

“A couple of times,” he tells me.

Kaya scoffs inside my head, and I frown. Before I can say anything, I get scooted off to my makeup chair.

My hair is teased this time, at the ends. Because sloths don’t brush their hair. I really like it, though Daniel laughs at me. The makeup is the hardest part, as I struggle to calm Kaya down. Shut up! I think.

It’s annoying!

You’re annoying!

What the bloody hell is on my eyelid?

MY eyelid. They’re false eyelashes, and you can either sit there and shut up, or you can go.

Fine then. This better be quick…

The door kept opening and closing while my makeup was being applied, and judging from past experience, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread. Then Kaya spoke up. If it were them, I would’ve switched with you by now, she informed me.

I can handle them myself, I retort silently.

She scoffs, and now I’m angry. You know nothing, she tells me. You think the worst people are those you see? There are more where they came from. You wouldn’t last a minute.

Oh, I see, I say to her. Cat Madigan always needs my help. Cat Madigan is a scared little girl who can’t deal with things on her own.

My makeup artist goes to have lunch, and I’m left alone with my head. Well guess what? I growl in my head. I’m not a fighter, I’m not strong enough for that. But I can endure. I can take anything that you have, and live through it. Yes, it’s hard, but I’m surviving.

Is that why, Kaya says in a spitefully smooth tone, you tried to kill yourself?

Surprisingly, it’s Daniel who yells out, not me. Fortunate too, considering how I’m the only one who is real. He storms up to me, and glares at me, and for a moment, I forget who he’s angry at. “This is out of line,” he snarls.

She started it, Kaya says coldly.

“Do I look like someone who gives a fuck?” Daniel replies. “You of all people are in no place to call someone weak.”

Kaya is silent, but I feel her brooding in the back of my mind. I take her silence as an opportunity. “What’s going on?” I demand Daniel.

Daniel fumes. “I’ve had enough of Kaya,” he tells me.

“That makes two of us,” I reply. “Though I don’t understand your case that well.”

It was then, of all times, that the makeup artist returned. With a hotdog for me.

“Here you are,” she said. “Vanity’s boyfriend came back with hotdogs.”

“Food!” I cheered delightedly. “Thank you very much.”

“You’re on a gluten free diet,” Daniel reminded me. “Roll of bread and sausage with breadcrumbs, it’s against the rules.”

I ignored him and began devouring my hot dog.

My makeup, for a lack of a better way to say it, was very blue. Blue eye shadow, blue lips and blue eyelashes. I would’ve thought of sloth as pale blue, something light and fluffy. Instead, it was bright, peacock blue, and the dress I wore was the same colour.

Then it was time to shoot.

“BUBBLES!” I sang, as a bubble wand materialised in front of me.

Real mature, Cat.

Spoil sport.

I understood that bit of symbolism. Blowing bubbles represents idleness and time wasting, the cardinal qualities of being a sloth. I was pleased to know that my Media and English classes had not gone entirely to waste when it came to hidden meanings in things.

After acting dreamy and giggly, it was time for a group photo. I lay asleep on Vanity as she scowled at me while looking in her mirror. Wrath had Lust in a headlock, who still managed to, well, make love to the camera. Gluttony was simply eating her lollypop, which was being eyed by Envy and her snakes. Greed was too distracted by her rings and jewels to know anything going on.

Then I freaked my mother out when she saw my face. “Hello mummy, I’m an alien!” I informed her.

“Good to know,” she murmured faintly.

Daniel had been far more dramatic. “Kill it!” he was screaming. “Before it lays eggs!”

And for the first time that day, Kaya and I had thought the exact same thing. Shut up Daniel.

Sinner

Standard

So today’s plans were simple. Clean the house, get ready for school tomorrow, the usual.

Then I got messaged.

A model had cancelled for a photoshoot, and they wanted to know if I was available.

So after asking Mum if she could drive me, Daniel, Kaya and I were off.

Before I go on, it might help to mention that Kaya has, for a lack of a better term, grounded me. Yeah… I did sort of deserve it, but it doesn’t mean I have to like being ‘grounded’.

For a lack of a better term, Kaya is there in the back of my mind in case I do something stupid. So I am never alone with my thoughts.

Oh be quiet. Since when is punishment meant to be enjoyable? Stupid girl.

Anyway, the theme was Seven Deadly Sins, and I got my very favourite one.

“Lust?” Daniel asks.

“Since when have I done anything impure?”

“You’re right. Physically, you are completely innocent,” he winks.

“Shut up Daniel. I’m Sloth.”

“Sloth?”

“Laziness.”

“Ohhhh. Yes, you’re right, that sin is definitely fitting of you.”

“Thankyou.” I was beaming.

“Now which sin am I going to be?” Daniel smoothed his hair in the mirror.

“You’re not in this shoot Daniel,” I rolled my eyes. “But you can be Vanity. Kaya’s Wrath.”

I beg your- Oh, you’re right.

“Indeed.” I look at Daniel. “Have you spoken to Kaya yet?”

“A couple of times,” he tells me.

Kaya scoffs inside my head, and I frown. Before I can say anything, I get scooted off to my makeup chair.

My hair is teased this time, at the ends. Because sloths don’t brush their hair. I really like it, though Daniel laughs at me. The makeup is the hardest part, as I struggle to calm Kaya down. Shut up! I think.

It’s annoying!

You’re annoying!

What the bloody hell is on my eyelid?

MY eyelid. They’re false eyelashes, and you can either sit there and shut up, or you can go.

Fine then. This better be quick…

The door kept opening and closing while my makeup was being applied, and judging from past experience, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread. Then Kaya spoke up. If it were them, I would’ve switched with you by now, she informed me.

I can handle them myself, I retort silently.

She scoffs, and now I’m angry. You know nothing, she tells me. You think the worst people are those you see? There are more where they came from. You wouldn’t last a minute.

Oh, I see, I say to her. Cat Madigan always needs my help. Cat Madigan is a scared little girl who can’t deal with things on her own.

My makeup artist goes to have lunch, and I’m left alone with my head. Well guess what? I growl in my head. I’m not a fighter, I’m not strong enough for that. But I can endure. I can take anything that you have, and live through it. Yes, it’s hard, but I’m surviving.

Is that why, Kaya says in a spitefully smooth tone, you tried to kill yourself?

Surprisingly, it’s Daniel who yells out, not me. Fortunate too, considering how I’m the only one who is real. He storms up to me, and glares at me, and for a moment, I forget who he’s angry at. “This is out of line,” he snarls.

She started it, Kaya says coldly.

“Do I look like someone who gives a fuck?” Daniel replies. “You of all people are in no place to call someone weak.”

Kaya is silent, but I feel her brooding in the back of my mind. I take her silence as an opportunity. “What’s going on?” I demand Daniel.

Daniel fumes. “I’ve had enough of Kaya,” he tells me.

“That makes two of us,” I reply. “Though I don’t understand your case that well.”

It was then, of all times, that the makeup artist returned. With a hotdog for me.

“Here you are,” she said. “Vanity’s boyfriend came back with hotdogs.”

“Food!” I cheered delightedly. “Thank you very much.”

“You’re on a gluten free diet,” Daniel reminded me. “Roll of bread and sausage with breadcrumbs, it’s against the rules.”

I ignored him and began devouring my hot dog.

My makeup, for a lack of a better way to say it, was very blue. Blue eye shadow, blue lips and blue eyelashes. I would’ve thought of sloth as pale blue, something light and fluffy. Instead, it was bright, peacock blue, and the dress I wore was the same colour.

Then it was time to shoot.

“BUBBLES!” I sang, as a bubble wand materialised in front of me.

Real mature, Cat.

Spoil sport.

I understood that bit of symbolism. Blowing bubbles represents idleness and time wasting, the cardinal qualities of being a sloth. I was pleased to know that my Media and English classes had not gone entirely to waste when it came to hidden meanings in things.

After acting dreamy and giggly, it was time for a group photo. I lay asleep on Vanity as she scowled at me while looking in her mirror. Wrath had Lust in a headlock, who still managed to, well, make love to the camera. Gluttony was simply eating her lollypop, which was being eyed by Envy and her snakes. Greed was too distracted by her rings and jewels to know anything going on.

Then I freaked my mother out when she saw my face. “Hello mummy, I’m an alien!” I informed her.

“Good to know,” she murmured faintly.

Daniel had been far more dramatic. “Kill it!” he was screaming. “Before it lays eggs!”

And for the first time that day, Kaya and I had thought the exact same thing. Shut up Daniel.

Don’t Feed The Cat Madigan.

Standard

I think I mentioned once that I received my anxiety from my father and my depression from my mother. No clue where the hallucinations came from though. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

So my father’s anxiety has started acting up again, and according to my mother, he’s been having panic attacks. He went to the doctor, who told him something about anxiety. This may or may not turn out to be total crap, but who knows?

Anyway, Doctor Jeff told Dad that there is increasing evidence that gluten is linked to mental disorders such as anxiety, depression and schizophrenia, and that perhaps going glucose free would be better for him.

Upon being told this by my father, my mother decided that the whole family needed to go on the diet, to support my father. It’s easy to understand what that means. Would you like a translation, nonexistent reader?

I think that if Cat Madigan goes on this diet, her problems will be magically solved, and we can go back to the world of children’s stories.

I’m interested in finding out how she plans to enforce this on my alleged brother, arguably the most deceitful person on Planet Earth. Chances are, Tig will resort to stealing from Mum in order to buy pizza, and other foods with wheat, instead of iTunes cards. And I wonder if Dad is actually going to stick to it too. It can go either two ways; he stays on the diet, or he ends up stashing pasta in his desk, along with chocolate bars and porn.

Hey! Don’t look at me that way! I was looking for chocolate, I had no idea about the porn, and I really wish that I was still oblivious to it.

No wonder I’m fucked up.

Personally, I think this is going to go the same way as the sugar free diet went. About two years ago, when my blackouts were simply blackouts, Mum attempted to make me go on the same diet she had been on for about fifteen years before we were born, in order to control my blood sugar. It’s got to do with highs and lows; sugar gives you a huge high before plummeting, which can cause faints. Now, of course, I’m aware that my blackouts are most likely brought on by my hallucinations. And what causes my hallucinations is probably not my mild chocolate addiction.

Here’s what I think will happen, step by step.

1- Mum will remove every trace of everything that has wheat in it.

2- Mum will replace everything with gluten free counterparts. Does it matter if it’s appetising? Nope. Will she expect us to eat it? Yup.

3- I will most likely refuse to eat said gluten free foods, partially because they’ll be disgusting, but mainly because my stomach is the size of an apricot and I’ll be full after a yogurt with psyllium. Which doesn’t contain gluten, thank Christ.

4- Mum shall try to guilt trip me into eating disgusting gluten free counterparts, saying “We’re all doing this for you!” even though deep down, we all know it’s not going to work.

5- I’ll probably learn to cook rice dishes. Which is awesome, I love Asian food.

6- Less awesome; Mum will be angry that I am showing some independence, and will probably yell at me for some reason she’ll make up in her head.

7- No junk food. I know that gluten isn’t in all junk food items, but knowing my mother, this diet is one step from gluten free to everything-considered-appetising-and-fattening free. This, will lead to disobedience on Tigger’s part, and, depending if the diet works for me or not, mine too.

8- Tigger will start stealing money for pizza.

9- Father will hide items full of gluten with his porn.

10- I will end up starving and run away to the streets, where there is at least food.

11- Mum will go on a murderous rampage after this culmination of events.

THE END.

On that note, I implore you all, if you are/know a doctor, dietician, nutritionist, psychologist, paediatrician, or essentially anyone who knows about gluten free diets or how gluten affects mental disorders like the ones I mentioned above, please let me know if the diet does in fact work. I’ll try it if it helps my problems, but if it’s trash, then let me know by commenting on this post. Preferably before my mother goes around killing people.

Mum is trying to pressure me into eating disgusting bread now. It begins…

Cat Madigan.