The F@ck You List…Part TWO

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Energy Status: Depleted. Utterly depleted.

Which makes no sense, considering how pretty much all I’ve done today is watch Pewdiepie and The Fine Brothers.

Maybe I should do something mentally stimulating…

Okay…time to get up. Yaaaaaaaaawn.

What should I talk about today? Something that won’t make me come across as a bitchy teenager who hates everything in the twenty first century.

That certainly narrows the field down.

Stuff it. Let’s whine about 2013 again!

Or…I could just finish the F@ck you list.

I believe I had gotten up to 25 last time, I’m going to try to get 50 things this time.

So, f@ck you:

26- Facebook. Thanks to you, the only way I can talk to people is by depending on Internet and faceless communication.

27- Candy Crush. I don’t care for you, and your brainwashed zombie minions who continue to invite me to play you can’t change that. Also, how many times have I received a notification and gotten excited, only to find a plea from my zombified former acquaintances to play your fudging game! Not cool.

28- God. Are you drunk or something? Why the hell do I have to be your entertainment?

29- Grandma. Yes, I know…you were raised in a different time, but why is it disrespectful when I choose to sleep instead of interacting with you? And why is it not disrespectful that you constantly criticise me in every way possible. And for the record, I love dessert. And I don’t give a damn about pimples.

30- Bullying. What is so funny about picking on people? Also, why is it tolerated? Look at freaking Amanda Todd. I don’t even like her; I find it stupid that she gets called “Beautiful and Inspirational”, when there’s millions of other kids who have done the same thing, and the only difference is that they hadn’t gone on YouTube. But her death wouldn’t have happened if people had left her alone, just like all those other kids who’s names won’t be remembered because they didn’t make a video.

31- Religious Extremists. Please, can you try to back up your beliefs with proof? If you’re going to try and convince other people that what you believe in is true, the least you can do is give them reasons other than “the bible said so”.

32- Atheist Extremists. Stop pissing off Religious Extremists. They’ll blow up the world if they think it’s right. It’s one thing to disagree with them, if you’re an atheist, you go ahead and be an atheist. But don’t go out of the way to tell them that their God is stupid, worthless or anything along those lines.

33- Steve Jobs, for making us dependant on Apple devices.

34- Tigger. You are not amusing, even in the slightest. And if my friends heard what you said about them, they’d beat you to a f@cking pulp. Also, you are not helpful in the slightest. It is not considered helpful to enable our mother’s depressive and semi psychotic rages.

35- My mother again. Stop talking behind my back. Seriously, you wonder why I don’t talk to my family members. Also, I just heard that derogatory remark about my seizures. Fuck you. That’s how pissed I am, I didn’t censor it.

36- Writers Block. Seriously, how am I meant to write when my brain refuses to get into that setting?

37- That part of my brain which makes me want to write at the worst times. Such as during mass.

38- Fanfiction. For making me question my sexual tastes. And for the record, yes, I’m still straight. Grandma.

39- That Bitchface who knocks my hand when I’m drawing. Hope you’re enjoying yourself, now you don’t have a head.

40- Dizzy Spells.

41- Inconvenient phone calls.

42- The Australian Government, for somehow failing to legalise gay marriage. How did they mess that up. Even America is getting there. America. Let that sink in Tony Abbott.

43- People who raise their children to blatantly hate people because of race, sexuality, religion, etc. Bigotism is not cool. I don’t think it’s even a word.

44- Modelling. Yes, I’d like to be skinny, but I’d also like to eat icecream.

45- People who shoot children at schools.

46- People who provoke people who end up shooting children at schools. How many times do I need to repeat this? Bullying is not okay!

47- Gangs. Look at me! I have an entourage, I’m powerful! Let’s bash up the elderly! Ha ha ha! Stuff you guys.

48- Society. You have sex? You’re a slut. You don’t have sex? You’re frigid. You cut? Stop seeking attention. You want to end it? Seriously, how much more attention do you need? Then after someone commits suicide, “Oh my god, what a beautiful person, god bless, society sucks”. The ultimate hypocrite. I could go on.

49- Tumblr. Whyyyy do you spoil my favourite tv shows? :'(

50- British Television, for only coming out in Britain. Because in the time between its release in Britain to its release in Australia, there’s an infinite amount of spoilers. It’s not just Tumblr, Facebook’s just as evil.

51- Shows glorifying teen pregnancy. Whiny, selfish girls are not good mothers. Just because you babysit does not mean mean you’ll be a good mother.

52- iPad’s inability to pirate. F@ck you Apple.

53- Books. Or at least the ones in the library at school. It’s the same story nowadays. An ordinary girl meets someone from the supernatural, who tells her she’s not ordinary. They eventually fall in love, and on the way, they battle evil supernatural beings who wish to take over the human race. Second scenario: a hero lives in a dystopian society, and they inadvertently become the symbol for the rebellion by doing…pretty much nothing apart from being plain ol’ them.

54- Authors who make Mary Sues in stories. And in case you don’t know what a Mary Sue is, it’s a character which is essentially a perfect person, and more often than not based on what the author wants to be like. Basically, the author places himself/herself in the story, not necessarily as the main character, but as someone who becomes more prominent/important than the main character, if they themselves aren’t the main character. This character has the best frigging luck in the history of the world, and has no flaws whatsoever. Also, this character won’t die, because they are the author’s special pet. And if they do die, their death is majestic and so beautiful it effects the story entirely. Oh, and before I forget, they usually have a traumatic backstory, causing them to be extremely secretive/mysterious, making them an object of obsession for the main protagonist. Stories are not there so authors can make fantasies involving themselves. Yes, I’m looking at you, Twilight. The worst case of this is Fifty Shades of Grey. Worst case of Mary Sue in history.

55- ‘Authors’ who refuse to kill off their characters because they love them too much. If you truly care for your creation, you need to make the story stay in their minds. And how you do this is you create characters they love and stay with them, which means when you kill them off, they are genuinely shattered. Yes, you have to be a monster. No, I don’t care that you love your favourite character, who is secretly a representation of what you’d want to look like. George RR Martin lives by this, he knows that people read his books because everyone talks about them.

56- Stores, as we’re moving away from the writing before I start a giant rant. I love my trench coat, you do not diss the trench coat!

57- Disney princesses, for creating unrealistic expectations of life in my four year old mind.

58- My friends, for informing me about the dirty side of Disney. Want some examples? Next list.

59- The nostalgia I get for school during summer holidays. Then when I get back, I realise that I don’t miss school anymore, and I want to go back to the world of laziness.

60- Twilight, for brainwashing half a generation of girls into falling in love with mercurial, beautiful men, often before the age of 13. Also for making every other teen fiction book sink to your level. Ughhhh.

61- Emilia Clarke, who inhabits the sexual fantasies of every nerdy male in the universe. And the occasional nerdy female.

62- Shipping. You have ruined books, television, movies, video games and story driven material for me. Not to mention YouTube.

63- People who ship themselves with band members/celebrities. C’mon guys, they don’t know you exist, it’s okay to have the occasional fantasy, but when you think about it, what’s the chance that they’re going to measure up to your expectations in person?

64- Fanfiction involving band members/celebrities and a fan/Mary Sue. *vomits*

65- Smut involving band members/celebrities and a fan/Mary Sue. More specifically, One Direction smut. This idea becomes even worse when you consider the fact that the majority of One Direction’s fan base are 12 year old girls.

66- One Direction, for corrupting the minds of today’s youth, and giving teenager girls unrealistic ideas of boys. Then again, I’m kind of terrified of them. They have an ARMY of impressionable 12 year old girls around the globe. How frigging scary is that?

67- Justin Bieber. For being a huge frigging Dickwad. I remember I got so much hate years ago for hating Justin, because he was a 16 year old kid who was a popular singer and was considered a beautiful person. But now, when you look at the stuff he’s done, peeing in mop buckets, speeding, and spitting on fans…seriously? Why is he still loved again?

68- Manga. Everyone is beautiful in anime. It’s not fair.

69 (Teehee)- Anime, because live adaptations don’t even begin to measure up to the animated series.

70- justgirlythings. They really must be running out of stuff to make if they’re posting stuff saying “Wearing a belt <3".

71- Youtubers, simply for being perfect.

72- The Boob Fairy, for skipping over me instead of Lady Delamore, who is already massive. (Love you DD ^_^).

73- My maths teacher, who paid no attention to whether or not I learnt anything in 2013.

74- People who get famous for stupid things. Just…no.

And for 75…

75- MILEY CYRUS. You have lowered the standards of young women. Just because other people are doing the same edgy stuff does not mean it's a good idea to f@ck up this generation further! Eagerly awaiting your nervous breakdown, by the way.

And that's it. This one was a b!tch.

Love Cat Madigan. Xox

Bad/Mad/Sick/Silly Cat.

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This blog is called The Adventures of Cat Madigan for a reason; because Cat Madigan has ADVENTURES!

Well, aside from the ongoing saga Cat’s Run Away (yes, yes, I KNOW, I’m meant to be posting stuff, and I keep forgetting to write…), my adventures really only happen in my head. Aka, Delirium.

But I like to have adventures in Reality, even very minor ones. If I have adventures in Reality, I can stay in Reality more easily.

And I cannot have adventures if I am sick in bed.

Yes, Cat Madigan is sick. I cannot keep anything down, and for some reason, I keep trying to prove my body otherwise. My body’s response is always the same: “NO, Cat, I can’t eat right now, I’m busy keeping you alive and fighting the viruses, I can’t handle extra burdens! No, don’t put that PopTart in your mouth, noooooo, no! Bad Cat! Bad bad bad Cat! Okay…you asked for it….”

With barely enough energy to move, Daniel takes delight in making fun of me, and I often found myself falling into Delirium randomly. Almost as if I were falling asleep.

In Delirium, I can move, I can eat. I remember sitting on the edge of a river, lying in the tall grass that grew there, and dipping my toes in the warm water. And pulling my feet out before Daniel could spring out of the water and grab them and pull me in.

Those are the only times that I enjoy being in Delirium. Those times when it’s only Daniel who’s with me, and no one wants to hurt me, or burn me.

Speaking of burning…

I’m not sure how I knocked my bed light over. I had left it on, by accident, and I hadn’t the foggiest idea that I had done what I did.

Later, when I was Skyping with my dear ‘father’, who smugly told me he had half the day off from school, I smelt burning. It smelt like burning rubber, but I couldn’t tell where it was from. I nearly asked Papa Willis if he could smell something, before quickly realising that smells cannot be transmitted via iPad, not even on Skype.

Imagine what my supposed brother would be able to do if that technology was possible… Imagine what people would be able to do, period. Imagine getting an email and opening it, only to smell the fresh aroma of rotting eggs. Thank god for ethics…

When my mother came home, I was reassured that I wasn’t hallucinating, or whatever you call perceiving smells that weren’t there. Something was on fire.

I was checking the power points, when I saw a bright light on my mat.

Bright as a flame.

Well, it wasn’t a flame, because the heat was concentrated on one area. But still…

I thought that the worst of my problems was that it had burnt my rug.

Then I saw it had burnt through it, and had been starting on my carpet.

Mum merely shrugged, and said we’d need to replace the carpets anyway, when we moved out of the house, (that’s for another time though). When she left the room, I heard someone clapping slowly. “Shut up Daniel,” I said.

He chuckled.

As I sit here, starving, and craving whatever the heck is cooking at the moment, I’m thankful for one thing; that the smell of charcoaled rubber has finally left my room and I can breathe fresh air again.

I can hear what everyone else is doing, outside my bedroom. My mother is struggling to reactivate her long deactivated Facebook account. I have no idea why she’d want to, I didn’t even know she had friends that use Facebook. But as I, the Facebook and social media genius of the family, am out of action, she has resorted to employing my brother’s clumsy skills to do so. It’s amusing to watch, well, hear.

One moment.

It’s less funny now. My brother just asked me the surname of MJ, along with that of various other friends.

My mother’s going to now stalk me on Facebook.

Or at the very least, she’s going to stalk my friends.

This means war…

*Cranky Cat Mode Initiated*

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

Mad Cat. (And I’m crazy too!)

The Need for Secrecy (or not…)

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Last time, on The Adventures of Cat Madigan…

I may have had a slight emotional breakdown.

I ended up writing a post about my parents, and in my stupidity, I shared it on Facebook.

Meaning my friends (or at least ones that care) know about my home life.

And my crappy blog.

And probably who Cat Madigan is.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge.

So to sum it up, I am scewed.

Dammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammit…

Ok, meltdown over.

I suppose I should be asking myself if I would want my friends to know about my blog. Which brings me to the reason I began this thing.

The main reason The Adventures of Cat Madigan started was so that I could record everything that happens to me, write down everything I’m feeling, so that I wouldn’t have so many things kept to myself, and I wouldn’t end up drowning in them. I think that’s my biggest problem; I can’t express emotion the same way everyone else does. If I’m not happy about something, I will usually keep it close to my chest, because at home, disagreement with my parents is seen as the highest disrespect. And disrespectful children will be punished.

But as of late, this is becoming too much for me. At home, I’m not allowed to think for myself; if I argue with my parents, there’s yelling and screaming on their part, and I end up losing because I am a child and I know nothing. I hear a lot of words from my parents when they yell at me; disrespectful, ungrateful, and lazy are words that come up in a lot of our fights. Here’s how they usually come up: I want to do something. My mother doesn’t want me to go out for reasons that she refuses to explain, or that she hasn’t come up with yet. She gets backup from my father, who is rarely around, but will back my mother’s side every time, because children can’t win arguments. I try to reason, and I get named disrespectful. Always that one word… Don’t they have imagination? If I had courage I’d tell them to come up with something more creative. But I’m a coward, so that’s not going to happen.

So I keep a lot of things to myself. I’m trying to break out of the habit as of late, but it’s difficult. Writing a blog is easy, talking back to people is not. With blogs, you can hide behind this persona who is telling the story. Which is why I’m worrying about my mistake yesterday. People now know the identity of Cat Madigan. True, some already did, but there’s now the frightening prospect that people can point at me and laugh, “Hey look, it’s that crazy girl who writes that blog!” Another bad thing about this is that people could start pestering me about the things I write, and try to find out who the people I write about are. Or people I write about may not like being written about. There’s always that possibility that people won’t like what I have to write about, but I knew that when I started writing, and if there ever comes a day from a nonexistent hater that rants on about something I’ve written-may not necessarily be about them- I’ll accept the consequences of my actions.

Okay, imaginary fanbase. I’ve ranted it out of my system.

So welcome, random friends on Facebook who have stumbled across my previous post and decided to keep reading!

Just remember these ground rules when you’re on this blog, (even if you’re only here because you’re bored or you were looking for something nasty and you got lost.)

1- Do not call me by my real name if you choose to comment. Think of it as my secret identity, one which I do not want found out. Just imagine how you’d feel if I exposed one of your secrets, (yes, that secret. The really embarrassing one involving a teddy bear and whipped cream. Wouldn’t want people knowing that, would you Batman?)

2- Do not ask me, “Oh, is this person actually ___________?” Because I will not tell you. Or maybe I will, but my answer shall not be true. Either way, just don’t bother asking!

3- Don’t tell others of my identity or anyone else’s. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being kidnapped and murdered by creepy stalkers, and I know most of my friends wouldn’t either. (Except maybe MJ, he might be into that shit.)

So that’s it. And it is now time for Question of the Day! (Yes, I’m still doing this crap, even though my nonexistent fan base never does.)

How do you deal with your problems? Do you write about them, like I do, and if so, do you write in a blog or in a journal or something else? Or do you actually talk about your problems like an ordinary human bean? If you do blog about them, post your link in the comments below, and I will find you, follow you, AND THEN YOU’LL NEVER BE RID OF ME, MWAHAHAHA! >:)

If for some reason, you wish to see my last post, it is right here. Feel free to tell me whether or not I did a stupid thing, posting on Facebook like that. From now on, I’ll try not to do something that idiotic, but I’ll probably forget in a few weeks, knowing me. :p

Ta ta for now.
Love Cat Madigan.