Justin Bieber, Tamagotchi


If you have no life and you’re constantly on the Internet, then like me, you probably know that one of the great role models for gullible teenage girls has been arrested.

We all knew this would be coming someday. The guy pees in restroom mop buckets, and spits at his fans, it was only a matter of time before his ego spread beyond the law.

So Justine was taken in for driving under the influence with an expired license, and resisting arrest. People are speculating whether or not he’s actually going to learn from this experience and be a good boy from now on. One thing’s for sure; numerous fan girls are going to swoon over his mugshot, which is possibly the most charismatic mugshot in history.

(Will he keep looking like that after he drops the soap?)

In my own special, messed up way, I’m going to feel sorry for Bieber. First off, he looks too much like a girl, he’s not going to be safe in prison. And his celebrity status isn’t going to help things. But another way of looking at this is that he is a young man who is given everything he wants by the people around him. A lot of people who hate him think “Oh my god, he’s turning into an asshole, why don’t they stop him?!” Which is a pity, because in an ideal society, they would reprimand him.

But we live in this society. And this society is completely money oriented.

Think of it this way.

1- Money is earned through prepubescent YouTube sensation.

2- Prepubescent YouTuber’s performance is affected by their health and their mood. I call this the Tamagotchi factor; if your prepubescent YouTube sensation is hungry or in a foul mood, he’ll die. Well, he won’t go to that extreme, but his performance will show if he’s not a happy camper, which will cause everyone to lose money.

That’s right everyone. Justin Bieber is a Tamagotchi. And most of his fans will be too young to know what that is.

3- Things affecting prepubescent YouTube sensation’s mood are infinite, depending on his ego. He may be fine if someone gives him hate mail, or he may go full on psycho and go to their house and kill their puppy. His ego will decide what he deserves, not anyone around him.

4- People surrounding prepubescent YouTube sensation have no choice but to keep his mood the same, which means giving him what his ego decides he deserves. The only other option is to lose money.

So, it’s sort of sad how an impressionable teenager has been lead astray by fame for the sake of money. Almost as sad as millions of impressionable teenagers sobbing their eyes out and threatening to kill themselves because this Tamagotchi has been arrested. Hopefully he learns from this though, or if not him, then at least his army of fan girls.

I’m surprised that none of his fans have tried to break him out of prison yet to be honest. Think about it. Sixty million teenage girls verses about…I dunno. One hundred cops?

I’m going to end this on a serious note. Because when he was caught smoking pot, Cut for Bieber happened. And no one wants that. If you consider yourself Justin Bieber’s number one fan, please do not try to break him out of prison, please do not do anything to hurt yourself, just for the sake of this one pop star, because he’s not worth it. He didn’t care for millions of girls cutting for him and he won’t know that you’ve hurt yourself because of his mistakes. Don’t base your worth on how much you love him.

After that rant, I need breakfast. Btw, diet is not going well. I want pasta…

Love Cat Madigan.