The F@ck You List…Part TWO

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Energy Status: Depleted. Utterly depleted.

Which makes no sense, considering how pretty much all I’ve done today is watch Pewdiepie and The Fine Brothers.

Maybe I should do something mentally stimulating…

Okay…time to get up. Yaaaaaaaaawn.

What should I talk about today? Something that won’t make me come across as a bitchy teenager who hates everything in the twenty first century.

That certainly narrows the field down.

Stuff it. Let’s whine about 2013 again!

Or…I could just finish the F@ck you list.

I believe I had gotten up to 25 last time, I’m going to try to get 50 things this time.

So, f@ck you:

26- Facebook. Thanks to you, the only way I can talk to people is by depending on Internet and faceless communication.

27- Candy Crush. I don’t care for you, and your brainwashed zombie minions who continue to invite me to play you can’t change that. Also, how many times have I received a notification and gotten excited, only to find a plea from my zombified former acquaintances to play your fudging game! Not cool.

28- God. Are you drunk or something? Why the hell do I have to be your entertainment?

29- Grandma. Yes, I know…you were raised in a different time, but why is it disrespectful when I choose to sleep instead of interacting with you? And why is it not disrespectful that you constantly criticise me in every way possible. And for the record, I love dessert. And I don’t give a damn about pimples.

30- Bullying. What is so funny about picking on people? Also, why is it tolerated? Look at freaking Amanda Todd. I don’t even like her; I find it stupid that she gets called “Beautiful and Inspirational”, when there’s millions of other kids who have done the same thing, and the only difference is that they hadn’t gone on YouTube. But her death wouldn’t have happened if people had left her alone, just like all those other kids who’s names won’t be remembered because they didn’t make a video.

31- Religious Extremists. Please, can you try to back up your beliefs with proof? If you’re going to try and convince other people that what you believe in is true, the least you can do is give them reasons other than “the bible said so”.

32- Atheist Extremists. Stop pissing off Religious Extremists. They’ll blow up the world if they think it’s right. It’s one thing to disagree with them, if you’re an atheist, you go ahead and be an atheist. But don’t go out of the way to tell them that their God is stupid, worthless or anything along those lines.

33- Steve Jobs, for making us dependant on Apple devices.

34- Tigger. You are not amusing, even in the slightest. And if my friends heard what you said about them, they’d beat you to a f@cking pulp. Also, you are not helpful in the slightest. It is not considered helpful to enable our mother’s depressive and semi psychotic rages.

35- My mother again. Stop talking behind my back. Seriously, you wonder why I don’t talk to my family members. Also, I just heard that derogatory remark about my seizures. Fuck you. That’s how pissed I am, I didn’t censor it.

36- Writers Block. Seriously, how am I meant to write when my brain refuses to get into that setting?

37- That part of my brain which makes me want to write at the worst times. Such as during mass.

38- Fanfiction. For making me question my sexual tastes. And for the record, yes, I’m still straight. Grandma.

39- That Bitchface who knocks my hand when I’m drawing. Hope you’re enjoying yourself, now you don’t have a head.

40- Dizzy Spells.

41- Inconvenient phone calls.

42- The Australian Government, for somehow failing to legalise gay marriage. How did they mess that up. Even America is getting there. America. Let that sink in Tony Abbott.

43- People who raise their children to blatantly hate people because of race, sexuality, religion, etc. Bigotism is not cool. I don’t think it’s even a word.

44- Modelling. Yes, I’d like to be skinny, but I’d also like to eat icecream.

45- People who shoot children at schools.

46- People who provoke people who end up shooting children at schools. How many times do I need to repeat this? Bullying is not okay!

47- Gangs. Look at me! I have an entourage, I’m powerful! Let’s bash up the elderly! Ha ha ha! Stuff you guys.

48- Society. You have sex? You’re a slut. You don’t have sex? You’re frigid. You cut? Stop seeking attention. You want to end it? Seriously, how much more attention do you need? Then after someone commits suicide, “Oh my god, what a beautiful person, god bless, society sucks”. The ultimate hypocrite. I could go on.

49- Tumblr. Whyyyy do you spoil my favourite tv shows? :'(

50- British Television, for only coming out in Britain. Because in the time between its release in Britain to its release in Australia, there’s an infinite amount of spoilers. It’s not just Tumblr, Facebook’s just as evil.

51- Shows glorifying teen pregnancy. Whiny, selfish girls are not good mothers. Just because you babysit does not mean mean you’ll be a good mother.

52- iPad’s inability to pirate. F@ck you Apple.

53- Books. Or at least the ones in the library at school. It’s the same story nowadays. An ordinary girl meets someone from the supernatural, who tells her she’s not ordinary. They eventually fall in love, and on the way, they battle evil supernatural beings who wish to take over the human race. Second scenario: a hero lives in a dystopian society, and they inadvertently become the symbol for the rebellion by doing…pretty much nothing apart from being plain ol’ them.

54- Authors who make Mary Sues in stories. And in case you don’t know what a Mary Sue is, it’s a character which is essentially a perfect person, and more often than not based on what the author wants to be like. Basically, the author places himself/herself in the story, not necessarily as the main character, but as someone who becomes more prominent/important than the main character, if they themselves aren’t the main character. This character has the best frigging luck in the history of the world, and has no flaws whatsoever. Also, this character won’t die, because they are the author’s special pet. And if they do die, their death is majestic and so beautiful it effects the story entirely. Oh, and before I forget, they usually have a traumatic backstory, causing them to be extremely secretive/mysterious, making them an object of obsession for the main protagonist. Stories are not there so authors can make fantasies involving themselves. Yes, I’m looking at you, Twilight. The worst case of this is Fifty Shades of Grey. Worst case of Mary Sue in history.

55- ‘Authors’ who refuse to kill off their characters because they love them too much. If you truly care for your creation, you need to make the story stay in their minds. And how you do this is you create characters they love and stay with them, which means when you kill them off, they are genuinely shattered. Yes, you have to be a monster. No, I don’t care that you love your favourite character, who is secretly a representation of what you’d want to look like. George RR Martin lives by this, he knows that people read his books because everyone talks about them.

56- Stores, as we’re moving away from the writing before I start a giant rant. I love my trench coat, you do not diss the trench coat!

57- Disney princesses, for creating unrealistic expectations of life in my four year old mind.

58- My friends, for informing me about the dirty side of Disney. Want some examples? Next list.

59- The nostalgia I get for school during summer holidays. Then when I get back, I realise that I don’t miss school anymore, and I want to go back to the world of laziness.

60- Twilight, for brainwashing half a generation of girls into falling in love with mercurial, beautiful men, often before the age of 13. Also for making every other teen fiction book sink to your level. Ughhhh.

61- Emilia Clarke, who inhabits the sexual fantasies of every nerdy male in the universe. And the occasional nerdy female.

62- Shipping. You have ruined books, television, movies, video games and story driven material for me. Not to mention YouTube.

63- People who ship themselves with band members/celebrities. C’mon guys, they don’t know you exist, it’s okay to have the occasional fantasy, but when you think about it, what’s the chance that they’re going to measure up to your expectations in person?

64- Fanfiction involving band members/celebrities and a fan/Mary Sue. *vomits*

65- Smut involving band members/celebrities and a fan/Mary Sue. More specifically, One Direction smut. This idea becomes even worse when you consider the fact that the majority of One Direction’s fan base are 12 year old girls.

66- One Direction, for corrupting the minds of today’s youth, and giving teenager girls unrealistic ideas of boys. Then again, I’m kind of terrified of them. They have an ARMY of impressionable 12 year old girls around the globe. How frigging scary is that?

67- Justin Bieber. For being a huge frigging Dickwad. I remember I got so much hate years ago for hating Justin, because he was a 16 year old kid who was a popular singer and was considered a beautiful person. But now, when you look at the stuff he’s done, peeing in mop buckets, speeding, and spitting on fans…seriously? Why is he still loved again?

68- Manga. Everyone is beautiful in anime. It’s not fair.

69 (Teehee)- Anime, because live adaptations don’t even begin to measure up to the animated series.

70- justgirlythings. They really must be running out of stuff to make if they’re posting stuff saying “Wearing a belt <3".

71- Youtubers, simply for being perfect.

72- The Boob Fairy, for skipping over me instead of Lady Delamore, who is already massive. (Love you DD ^_^).

73- My maths teacher, who paid no attention to whether or not I learnt anything in 2013.

74- People who get famous for stupid things. Just…no.

And for 75…

75- MILEY CYRUS. You have lowered the standards of young women. Just because other people are doing the same edgy stuff does not mean it's a good idea to f@ck up this generation further! Eagerly awaiting your nervous breakdown, by the way.

And that's it. This one was a b!tch.

Love Cat Madigan. Xox

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Days of Dellusions

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Not sure how often I should update this thing. Sometimes it takes a while to come up with ideas for you nonexistent people to read, and things are always changing. Plus, I try to make something reminiscent of a life, meaning I can’t always be on my iPad. You see, if I have a life, I have something else to talk to my iPad about instead of things I hate about humanity. So maybe once every few days…depending on what’s happening of course.

Like my days can be pretty random. There are days where I stay firmly planted in Reality, and others where I am hallucinating all over the place.

Speaking of hallucinations….

Daniel is in a bad mood. Last night, I was playing May I with my family- which currently consists of my mother, father, my alleged brother who shalt be known by the name Tigger, and my Oma and Opa, who have come to stay for two weeks. More on them later. But anyway, we were in the middle of the third round (two runs, for any imaginary reader who knows the game), when all of a sudden, I heard swear words. A loooooong succession of them. It didn’t stop for the whole game, and as soon as it was over, (I came last, again) I stormed into my room to find Daniel snoring on my bed.

What would you do in this situation imaginary reader?

Obviously you’ve probably never had hallucinations- actually, if you have, message me! We can be delusion buddies! <3- but imagine that some asshole had charged into your house and made a huge noise, and that you had to make excuses to the people around you; "Oh, it’s just the, er, cat/dog/dinosaur,” you say to them, while secretly cursing their very existence. Aaaand then later, you find them fast asleep on your bed, blissfully unaware of their extremely pissed off friend/acquaintance/hallucinator.

^is that even a word? Hallucinator? If it is, is it a verb? Probably not. :p

So what would be the best revenge?

Without a second thought, I yanked my doona out from under him. The pile of clothes on my bed fell over my floor, and later I would be yelled at by my mother, but I was too busy radiating in the warm glow of Daniel’s resulting foul mood to notice.

After he had calmed down, he told me what was wrong. I didn’t understand it all, but I understood enough to understand why he would be angry. Lets just say that when your dear friend is in hospital, you would tend to be angry at the one(s) responsible.

Anyway, more on that for another emotionally unstable time. My grandparents are here from Adelaide, which is great. Only thing is, I don’t know what to talk to them about, because I see them so little- I usually only see them once a year at Christmas, where I have to talk to all my cousins. *Shudder*

But the awesome thing about them being here is that there is less yelling and screaming around the house. My mother you see, wants to show to her parents-in-law the perfect family; which is just as real as my fan base, (I’m sorry imaginary reader, it’s true. You only exist in my head, sorry to break it to you this way). So we all must keep up the appearance of a loving, wonderful family environment. Which means a lot less yelling, which means a lot less time spent in Delirium for me. It’s only a theory at this point though; there’s every chance my hallucinations could be just as bad even without the yelling. But it’s a plausible theory, and for the next two weeks, I can test it out. This may be the cause of everything that’s been happening, and I’m hoping something will come out of it.

Now…what was I doing before I was writing?

Oh! Maths class!

That’s right, I’m supposed to be a responsible student. One who would NEVER pass up a chance to do quadratic equations.

I’ve got modelling this afternoon, maybe that’s what my next post will be about. What do you imaginary readers think? Leave your imaginary comments down below, you know the drill.

Cat Madigan.

Days of Delusions

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Not sure how often I should update this thing. Sometimes it takes a while to come up with ideas for you nonexistent people to read, and things are always changing. Plus, I try to make something reminiscent of a life, meaning I can’t always be on my iPad. You see, if I have a life, I have something else to talk to my iPad about instead of things I hate about humanity. So maybe once every few days…depending on what’s happening of course.

Like my days can be pretty random. There are days where I stay firmly planted in Reality, and others where I am hallucinating all over the place.

Speaking of hallucinations….

Daniel is in a bad mood. Last night, I was playing May I with my family- which currently consists of my mother, father, my alleged brother who shalt be known by the name Tigger, and my Oma and Opa, who have come to stay for two weeks. More on them later. But anyway, we were in the middle of the third round (two runs, for any imaginary reader who knows the game), when all of a sudden, I heard swear words. A loooooong succession of them. It didn’t stop for the whole game, and as soon as it was over, (I came last, again) I stormed into my room to find Daniel snoring on my bed.

What would you do in this situation imaginary reader?

Obviously you’ve probably never had hallucinations- actually, if you have, message me! We can be delusion buddies! <3- but imagine that some asshole had charged into your house and made a huge noise, and that you had to make excuses to the people around you; "Oh, it’s just the, er, cat/dog/dinosaur,” you say to them, while secretly cursing their very existence. Aaaand then later, you find them fast asleep on your bed, blissfully unaware of their extremely pissed off friend/acquaintance/hallucinator.

^is that even a word? Hallucinator? If it is, is it a verb? Probably not. :p

So what would be the best revenge?

Without a second thought, I yanked my doona out from under him. The pile of clothes on my bed fell over my floor, and later I would be yelled at by my mother, but I was too busy radiating in the warm glow of Daniel’s resulting foul mood to notice.

After he had calmed down, he told me what was wrong. I didn’t understand it all, but I understood enough to understand why he would be angry. Lets just say that when your dear friend is in hospital, you would tend to be angry at the one(s) responsible.

Anyway, more on that for another emotionally unstable time. My grandparents are here from Adelaide, which is great. Only thing is, I don’t know what to talk to them about, because I see them so little- I usually only see them once a year at Christmas, where I have to talk to all my cousins. *Shudder*

But the awesome thing about them being here is that there is less yelling and screaming around the house. My mother you see, wants to show to her parents-in-law the perfect family; which is just as real as my fan base, (I’m sorry imaginary reader, it’s true. You only exist in my head, sorry to break it to you this way). So we all must keep up the appearance of a loving, wonderful family environment. Which means a lot less yelling, which means a lot less time spent in Delirium for me. It’s only a theory at this point though; there’s every chance my hallucinations could be just as bad even without the yelling. But it’s a plausible theory, and for the next two weeks, I can test it out. This may be the cause of everything that’s been happening, and I’m hoping something will come out of it.

Now…what was I doing before I was writing?

Oh! Maths class!

That’s right, I’m supposed to be a responsible student. One who would NEVER pass up a chance to do quadratic equations.

I’ve got modelling this afternoon, maybe that’s what my next post will be about. What do you imaginary readers think? Leave your imaginary comments down below, you know the drill.

Cat Madigan.

Good?

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Imaginary reader, tell me this.

Are you a good person?

Think about it for a bit. Imagine that Jesus or God or whatever you believe in was looking at everything you’ve done in your life, and imagine what their reaction would be. What would they think?

I know how they’d react looking at my record. Two words: Lost Cause.

It’s not that I don’t try to be a good person, because I do try. It’s a good feeling, when you do something that makes others smile. Especially when you’re sad all the time, like me. It gives you some feeling of purpose to your otherwise empty life.

The only thing is, with me, everything I do comes back and hits me in the face. You ever hear that expression, No good deed goes unpunished? Yeah, well, some ass has probably been doing a whole lotta good deeds and put me as the return address. And thanks to my brain, that is an actual possibility for me.

I think too much.

But yes, I try to be a good person, but sometimes it’s just too hard. Because some people expect too much. And some people use yelling and screaming as their method to demand too much.
Take this scenario for example; I am cleaning my room, listening to music as I work, (GOOD music, FYI, with actual talent involved) when all of a sudden, my mother charges in. And I get to hear her screech about all the things I have not yet done.

Here’s the list of complaints, sans the screechy mother-from-hell voice.

-I have not vacuumed my room; as the vacuum is still being used by my brother to do god knows what.
-I have not picked up a pillow on the floor, which renders her completely unable to walk in this ‘hellhole’.
-My dressing gown is on my box, instead of my already loaded coat hanger.
-There are things under my bed. Things that NEED to go under there so I can walk through my room.
-My desk is too cluttered.
-I read too much. I must stop reading. The less I read, the more time I’ll have to place that pillow on my bed; which is not needed.

And finally….

-I have too much crap in my room. Which is becoming more of a storage space for all the crap my mother buys-often without asking. It is entirely my fault a place cannot be found for said crap, and I am the spawn of Satan for being unable to organise it in a matter that satisfies my mother.

It’s not the complaining that bothers me, it’s the screaming. Every time I have to put up with her yelling, I end up with a headache. Which makes me go to my room. Which makes me black out and fall into Delirium, where there is, you guessed it Imaginary Reader!, more yelling and screaming.

As opposed to Reality though, Delirium has people yelling and screaming about things that matter. What these matters are, I’ll save for a time where I’m feeling even more upset and vulnerable, and I have an uncontrollable urge to spill my secrets. It’s almost funny, how Delirium is the world which makes more sense to me; for all it’s secrets and mysteries behind it, the ones there are far easier to understand than the world where people screech about cleaning and other things that barely matter.

I have gotten off track. My point is that I am a horrible person. I’m working on it, but I’m not getting very far. And I have no idea how people stand me. My friends are wonderful people, and I find myself wondering why they allow me to hang out with them; for all my faults, for every time that I’ve gone all Delusional on them, they still care about me.

And that’s what inspires me to be a better person. If they can stand a psychotic, delusional bitch like me, I can at least try to be the best person I can be.

Though I probably will never remember to put that stupid pillow on my bed.

To sum it up; yes, there are good and bad people in this world. But no one is purely good or bad; people can do bad things with good intentions, just like good people can have selfish motivations for doing something seemingly unselfish.

Also, what even is a good person? Because there are so many ways a person can be flawed, so there’s no way someone can be perfect. But what makes someone a good person? How many flaws are they allowed to have? Answer below, nonexistent reader, in the comments.

Back to my role as the spawn of Satan.
Also, my grandparents will be here soon. Eeeeeek! O_O
Yours truly,

Cat Madigan