Teacher

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“You should really stop doing stuff like this, you know,” Daniel informs me.

“What can I say? I have a death wish. Ow!”

“Your body isn’t staying still Cat. Try to control yourself while I’m stitching.”

I just squeeze my eyes shut and try to ignore the feeling. It’s hard though. My neck and throat both sting like hell. You’d think I’d be used to this by now. But I guess you can never really get used to dying.

I do know one thing though.

I’m never going to get my head cut off again.

Not if I’m going to wake up afterwards.

And definitely not if Daniel has to sew my head back on without drugging me first.

Speaking of which…

“Daniel…”

He groans. “What is it Cat?”

“Daniel, where are my breasts?”

“I thought we’ve been over this, they’re non existent.”

“…Daniel.”

“I swear to god, what is it?”

“Daniel, when I look down, I see my bottom.”

“…oh.”

I would’ve shaken my head if it had still been attached to my neck. “How bad is it going to hurt?”

“…”

“…there’s no way you can knock me out first?”

“It’s your own fault, you shouldn’t have-” Daniel’s voice trails off when he sees my face. He shuts his eyes. “How bad does it hurt?”

I grimace, and tears fall out of my eyes. “Point taken,” he says. “Your brain isn’t strong enough for a blow to the head though.”

“It has to be to the brain,” I agree. “I’m assuming pills won’t work either.”

“Pills can’t be digested as is,” Daniel reminds me. He sighs. “I could give you a needle, but…”

“Do it. There’s worse things than needles.”

“You’ll be out for a long time. And you’ll need a few days to readjust.”

I frown. “How long in…”

“Your Reality? Not too long. I’d say about an hour or two.”

“Okay…” I watch him send a girl to fetch a needle, and he turns back to me. We sit in silence for a while.

“How weird does it look?” I ask.

“Pretty weird,” he admits. “It’s not every day you see a head talking without a body.” He has a sad smile on his face.

I chuckle slightly. “Guess what?”

“What?” Daniel looks at me.

“I’m not afraid of dying,” I tell him. “And I can take anything you give me.”

“Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt.”

“I never said that.” I smile up at him. “But I can stand it. I’m strong enough to live with it. At least I think I can.”

Slowly, a genuine smile spreads across his face. “Good girl,” he praises me.

“Am not,” I retort.

He grins, but it quickly fades when the girl returns with the needle. “Stay still,” he whispers.

I hiss slightly when the needle enters my temple. But then everything goes numb, and I start floating…

It’s an ordinary thing to wake up once again. I simply blink open my eyes and roll over again.

Then I remember.

Then I look down, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see my body’s attached the right way.

My body’s a bit slow when it comes to movement, but it follows my brain’s orders, albeit a second after it issues said order.

I stumble out of bed after 2 minutes of trying to get used to control. Then Daniel comes in, and he sits there watching me stumble about his room. “Like I said, it’ll be a while before you recoordinate yourself,” he says to me.

I merely grumble in response, not paying attention to my surroundings.

“Watch out for-”

I crash into the table, swearing as I fall to the ground. “FUCK!” I yell out.

Daniel quietly sniggers behind me. “Would you like some help?” he asks ever-so-politely.

“Fuck off.” My stomach grumbles.

“Will you be able to handle a spoon by yourself Lady Madigan?”

The answer, it turned out, was no. I ended up getting more soup on my dress than in my mouth. But I was adamant about doing it myself. Not that Daniel cared.

“Say ahhhh,” he told me, wielding the spoon in his hand.

I merely glared at him. He just sighed. “As much as I’m enjoying watching you throw your soup everywhere, I’d prefer it if you consumed some. Otherwise I’m going to be explaining to the chef that my companion has the manual dexterity of a three year old baby.”

I stick my tongue out at him. “At least three year olds are cute,” said Daniel. “Ray’s better behaved than you are.”

“Ray doesn’t have trouble moving her limbs,” I retort. “She climbs the trees outside my window.”

“Shut up and let me spoon you,” he orders me.

“I don’t want you to spoon me,” I reply.

“And I don’t want to deal with a hungry three year old. Their cuteness only goes so far.”

“Can’t I just drink out of a straw?”

“That would defeat the purpose of this exercise.”

“So would you feeding me,” I point out.

“Feed yourself then,” he groans.

“Thankyou,” I beam. And then I proceed to throw soup everywhere, while Daniel looks on, exasperated.

A few days in Delirium go by like this. I wonder how old I’d be if the days I spent here counted in Reality as well. I’m going to guess 17. A year sounds about right. Finally, after days of taunts from Daniel, I can move my body the way I did before my decapitation, although I am still not as strong.

When Daniel learns that I’m coordinated enough, he throws me a sword. I’m able to catch it, before dropping it to the floor. Daniel sighs and hands me one which is the size of a bread knife. “I’ll go find another one,” he tells me.

While he’s gone, I have a thought. I’m not strong. I’ve never been strong, not in that way at least. But as I dash around the room, pretending to fight the air, climbing random objects-bookcases, walls, the top of Daniel’s bed- I know that I’m slippery enough that it doesn’t matter.

I also know that my attention span is that of, well, a cat.

So I hide. I scale the wall and wait for Daniel to reenter the room. He does, and when his head is turned away from me, I leap.

I land on his shoulders, and put the knife at his throat. “How’s that?”

I hear him chuckle, and suddenly, he’s grabbing onto my ankles and he swings me off his shoulders. “Not bad,” he admits. “But…” He drops me onto the ground with a thud. “Never ever miss an opportunity.”

“I would never kill you Daniel,” I tell him.

He laughs. “You get the idea though.”

“Yeah. Don’t give them the chance to turn the tables.”

“Good girl. Next lesson…” Daniel picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

“OI!” Instantly, I knee him in the face and drop to the ground. I snatch up my knife and hold it at the ready.

Daniel stumbles up and laughs, with a touch of pain in his voice. “I think you’re nearly back to normal,” he tells me.

“Normal?”

“You know what I mean.”

Cat on Holidays

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Went back to CAMHS today. Saw Lolly, and told her everything.

So my homework for the week is to do something I enjoy every day.

If only school work were that easy.

Well, what do I have this holidays?

Right now, I’m doing sewing classes. As you imaginary readers know, I don’t know how to sew, and yet, I’m taking 1A/B Textiles Design and Technology.

I’m making a dress. It has green flowers all over it and hopefully I’ll be able to actually wear it.

…presuming I’d want to be seen in it once I’m finished.

Today was my second lesson. I’ve learnt and remembered a lot, and so far, I’ve sewn the…watchimacallit to the thingamabob. In Cat Madanese, I’ve sewn the top of the front to the bit where the shoulders are, and I’ve attached that to the back.

Yeah…I’m not going to survive this.

And guess who my incredibly supportive assistant is?

Flashback to this morning…

I was sewing the watchimacallit to the thingamabob, when he walked in front of the window I was facing when I worked. I wish to god I hadn’t looked up…

“I didn’t know you dressed in drag,” was my response.

He was wearing one of the wedding dresses which the teacher had put on display, to show us what you could do in sewing. “Here comes the bride…all fat and wide….” he sang.

I was grateful though. I hadn’t been having a good day, I was too busy worrying about MJ, so I needed a laugh.

Sometimes I wonder if I am a bad influence on my friends….yesterday, I started talking to MJ on Facebook, and he told me that he was getting away from his parents’ house, as they had banned him from going out with friends. Sound familiar nonexistent regulars?

By the way, no, I didn’t finish Cat’s Run Away. You know how it ended, I went home, nothing changed, except my friendship with Flash. End of story. I might tell the rest some day, but only if I’m very bored.

His case was a lot more understanding than mine though. They had banned him from his best friend, because they thought he was gay. Yes, they’re homophobic, and it sucks. Because his best friend, aka my ‘Grandma’, isn’t gay. But MJ is.

Yeah…not good.

Anyway, so that was my day. Now I’m doing something fun. Writing! Then I’ll do a drawing for Pancake’s birthday next week. Then I’ll do fun things for the rest of the holidays.

…Assuming I’m not wallowing in depression/Delirium.

Anyway, time for drawing.

Love Cat Madigan

Future Planning with Daniel

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First words of 2014 for Cat Madigan were “I DON’T CARE ABOUT F***ING PINCH PUNCH, I AM TRYING TO SLEEP, PISS OFF!”

So. New Years resolutions. Ah….

I’ve got nothing.

Aaaaand now my favourite imaginary friend is here.

“Resolutions. Now.”

“I don’t wanna!”

“Okay…what do you want to accomplish?”

“…I’d like to be able to go out with my friends without certain people popping up!”

“…that was unnecessary.”

“Oh, it was very necessary.”

“New one.”

“…to not fail in math this year.”

“There. That’s a good one.”

“…due to the fact that I keep spacing out in classes.”

“Caaaaat…”

“No!”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…And now you’ve gone all sulky, because I’m not happy, and you don’t like unhappy Cats.”

“…”

So, I’m going to continue this without this asshole.

Okay… Next goal is to attempt to spend a couple of hours a week working on writing. That’s simple. Happy Daniel?

What about cliches? “Be nicer to people“, for example?

Pfffffffft.

Lose ten pounds.

First of all, to me, ten pounds is nearly five kilos. Second, I’m already doing a shit load of exercise, not to mention I’m already food deprived enough, due to the fact there’s no food in my house. Besides, I don’t look too fat, and how am I to focus on maths and my ‘fat’ body at the same time?

Be a Happier Person.

Bite me.

Meet the love of my li-

Whoa whoa whoa, since when did JustGirlyStuff get onto my blog? Get out! *smacks with broom* Get *smack* the *smack* fuck *smack* out!

Okay…all good.

I’ve sworn off relationships for at least high school. Because they won’t last that duration. Between study and other stuff, not to mention certain pesky-

“Caaaat…”

“What? I’m not allowed to abuse you on my blog?”

“…”

My point is, I’m too broken to be in a relationship as it is, let alone be in one where our time is completely taken up already.

Not to mention, people in high school are stupid as fudge.

Oh, an important one! I need to learn to sew. Preferably before school starts and I begin sewing. And before you nonexistent readers start laughing at me, technically, I already know how to sew, but it’s been a while, and I need to catch up on all the other stuff.

Okay. I’M DONE. That’s enough resolutions, and chances are, I won’t keep them. One of my friends said he was going to avoid saying innuendos for a whole year as his resolution. Pffffffft.